The “Police Academy” movie franchise taught me the following things about law enforcement:

• Anyone can be a cop.  Even Steve Guttenberg.
• Being racist to anyone but blacks was OK in the 80s.  (And even that was OK too.)
• DJ Johnny Fever apparently left radio to become a boring police captain.  (So did Punky Brewster’s dad.)
• Cops don’t get in trouble for shooting things (cats, payphones, cars, etc).
• Michael Winslow will never be anyone other than “that sound effects guy from Police Academy”.
• Women cops are all attractive.  Men cops are all idiots.
• Bobcat Goldthwait got a lot of mileage out of going AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRARRRRRRRGHAAAAAAAH!
• Cop precincts and academys come in two varietys:  Serious, mean, and bully-esque or Fun, silly, and mentally unstable.  They usually don’t get along.
• Does anyone else think Leslie Easterbrook was really a man?
• Does anyone else think Steve Guttenberg wasn’t?
• The police academy is like a college dorm but with guns.
• Good cops are racially diverse and befriend anyone.  Bad cops look like the Hitler All-Stars and don’t like anyone.
• I think they should make a “Police Academy VIII: Assignment Texarkansas Bootleggers” movie and have Sheriff Buford T Justice be the mean commandant and Burt Reynolds could be Lesarde.  That’d be a nice 80′s cross over.
• Did Tackleberry start the Tea Party?
• The stereotype that big, black men are scary gave Bubba Smith an acting career.  (See above about racism.)
• Holy crap, is that David Spade in Police Academy IV… using Tony Hawk as a stunt double?
• The bad guys never beat the cops… because the cops know how to fly bi-planes and hot air balloons, how to pilot speed boats, jet skis, and how disarm heavily armed thugs with non-lethal force.  But somehow they can’t figure out how to not end up at the Blue Oyster Bar.

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