Firstly, I bruised my ribs and chipped some cartlidge being thrown forcefully into the corner of a wall.  It hurt.  It still hurts.  Apparently it’ll take 30-45 days to heal and will feel lousy the whole time.  Oddly, that’s the lesser of the double whammies that made my July what it is.

A good friend of mine died July 6th.  His name was Larry Butts.  (really it was!)  Everyone called him LB.  He’d been diagnosed with lung cancer a year ago.  It was caught around stage 3 due to a tumor developing but LB did radiation/chemo.

In January of this year, he was diagnosed as being in remission.  It was a big surprise that he went into remission due to the seriousness of his condition.  It was a great day for a lot of people.

In May, LB broke the news that the tumor came back.  And the cancer had spread as well.  Stage 4.  He began treatment immediately again.  He chronicled his journey through cancer on a website.  One of his last posts was:

“Well, the doctor told me that with the developments due to complications, if the new chemotherapy plan doesn’t work (meaning the tumors throughout my body do not shrink with the new chemicals used) he could say that I had about two months left to live.”

He died 5 days later.

I had know LB for about ten years if memory serves.  I met him through my work with the folks in the local music scene in the Valley area.  He was always around, singing, playing, creating drama.  He and I traded e-mails quite a bit and talked about getting together and just hanging out, especially after his diagnosis.  We’d do the things people do these days and something would come up or get in the way.  We’d talked about doing some fireworks at my house for the 4th of July, he requested I get some mortars for him, which I did.  I sent follow e-mails prior to the 4th but never heard back.   Then I found out why.

LB was a good man, better than most.  He was high maintenance but worth the effort.  He’s a guy that I didn’t truly know how much he meant to me until he was gone.  Alot of his friends are finding this out too.

I regret that I didn’t see him before he died. 

If this post does nothing for me (or you) it’s to remember to spend time with people you care about now and not later.  You never know when later doesn’t come.

“Had Brother’s Pizza! Watching episodes of Pawn Stars with mom. My new roommate.
I am the world’s most fortunate man!”

-LB, 5 days before his passing away.

James Thomason (Grandfather – US Navy WWII)

William E Haymes Sr (Grandfather – US Army Air Corp WWII/Air Force/Air National Guard)

William E Haymes Jr (Father – Virginia Air National Guard)

Eugene Haymes (Uncle – Virginia Air National Guard)

Kenneth Richardson (Friend – 82nd Airborne)

Paul Reeder (Friend/co-worker – Airborne (sorry Paul don’t recall your unit other than parachutes being involved)

Duane Zoldak (Oldest Friend – 10th Mountain Div – Black Hawk Down did them no justice)

LinuxKidd (Friend – US Navy)

John Inscoe (Friend – US Navy)

Marvin Gonzalez (Friend – US Navy/Naval Reserves)

Thanks also go out to the families and friends who support these folks during deployments, drills, training, etc.

Thank you.

There are a lot of candidates for this award.  Considering the recent shootings in Arizona, it’s a pretty easy task to find evidence of failure and incompetence all around.  I’d considered briefly giving the award to Sarah Palin.  She’s always in the running for the award, but frankly it felt like a cheap shot… like making fun of a kid with a disability.  (Yeah, I know… re-read the disclaimer.)  Certainly someone connected to the whole shooting fiasco deserves it though.

I thought about giving it to the lone gunman guy.  I don’t remember his name right off the top of my head, and frankly it isn’t important to the story.  Shooting into a crowd of people is a different category of award and frankly not something I feel like joking about (yet).  So I took a pass on the future NRA spokesman.  (DISCLAIMER!)

I thought about Keith Olbermann for saying this about the whole thing, “Violence, or the threat of violence, has no place in our democracy”.  That’s a noble thought, but it’s also a lie.  The country itself was founded through violence.  We have a standing army that perpetuates violence.  From 1861-1865 the Union was preserved through violence.  Blacks were made free from that violence.  Texas is part of this country through violence.  So is almost every state west of the Mississippi river.  Perhaps Olbermann meant violence has no place inside our democracy’s infrastructure.  Some guy from Virginia some time ago felt differently.

“The spirit of resistance to government is so valuable on certain occasions that I wish it to be always kept alive.”

“The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants.”

 He, and some of his friends, wrote the US Constitution… the contract by which the Democracy, that Olbermann views as violence-proof, exists.  They also wrote the 2nd amendment to it.  Part of the Bill of Rights.  You can go to NRA.org and read it if you want, I’m sure everyone knows it’s the “keep and bear arms” thing.  You may not know that the reason it’s the 2nd amendment to the Constitution is because its value was (and by some still is) valued 2nd only the 1st amendment.  (The Bill of Rights was written in order of importance… just some GOVT101 for you.  Also, the Virginian mentioned was Thomas Jefferson… if you didn’t know that, this post might be too far over your head.)  If you read the writings of the authors of the Bill of Rights, and the opponents of the time, you’ll find that in addition to the NRA’s arguments about home defense and shooting minorities (DISCLAIMER!), you’ll find that the 2nd amendment was also provisioned to allow for armed uprisings against…. wait for it… the US Government.  That’s right… the Constitution was built with a self-destruct button.  In case of corruption, tyranny, or oppression, the writers of the Constitution felt that people had a right to armed (and violent otherwise why would they need guns?) revolt against the democracy in place.  No one was under the belief, even then, that the US system of government was beyond falling victim to the pitfalls that most other systems of government had fallen to in the history of humankind.  So, Olbermann, who I am a fan of generally, is wrong.  Violence in the country is a staple of our existence and a core foundation on which it rests.  Because it’s not pretty, does not make it false.

But a nut with a gun in Arizona shooting random people and an elected official is not an armed uprising against the government.  And if Olbermann said murders have no place in this country, he wouldn’t be mentioned here.  But he didn’t.  I get why he said what he did… he’s riding the wave of shock and commercial.  The lone gunman killed six people.  That’s the horrible thing.  He horribly wounded a federal government official.  That’s bad too.  But not as bad as killing six people.  If you take the jobs away from the victims in Arizona, this is just another bad day in Detroit.

So no… not the shooter, not Palin, not Olbermann.  Specifically.  Olbermann gets partial credit because he is part of the media.  Not the liberal media or the conservative media, but the commercial media.  Olbermann’s job is to draw viewers.  He may feel otherwise, but watch how fast he gets fired if it’s shown he’s not drawing an audience.  More viewers means more money from advertising.  The media in this country is a for-profit entity.  At the end of the day, the vast majority of media outlets in this country are required legally to do everything in their power to make money.  That means selling stories.  Generating hype.  Riding paranoia.  Going for stories that have more shock and awe.  The news media of today has more in common with the NFL than it does journalism.  Congratulations “media”… you get 1/3 of the Dim Bulb of the Week award for irresponsibly promoting fanaticism and hype instead of reporting facts.  (By the way… readers, watchers, and consumers of this crap… you’re equally damned.  If you didn’t buy it, they can’t sell it.  I’m part of that too, so don’t think I’m preaching from on high… I’m stuck in the muck too.)

Who are the other two winners?  Republicans and Democrats.  Professionals and groupies alike (here’s where I lose 90% of my readers).  Republicans and Democrats both represent factions.  All politics aside, subscribing to one of those labels or working to perpetuate the party ideology is the endorsement and propagation of a faction.  Factions have an agenda… to make the country more like their faction or more in line with their values.  That’s generally at the expense of anyone not subscribing to a faction’s belief.  That process is directly in conflict with the principles of freedom in general.  Interestingly enough, that Jefferson guy I was talking about earlier believed that factions would be the downfall of  democracy (not violence, Olbermann!)  The only reason that the two party system hasn’t devolved into a one party faction is that the two competing factions are not strong enough to eliminate or dominate the other.  Just as Jefferson said that differences of religious opinion would produce a neutral environment, differences in factions has created a government of inaction.

People are angry.  Because of the Interstate Commerce Claus, the federal government pretty much can regulate, legislate, or dictate anything anyone does.  In the 60′s it was used to create Equal Rights for blacks.  It would seem that that would be something that deserved its own line item in the Constitution, but whatever, Congress used a loophole instead.  Fortunately, Congress of the 60′s was able to end racism forever with its law making wand.  (I told you there’d be sarcasm!)  Today, the government (federal, state, local) has more control to give, take, or manipulate within a person’s life than at anytime in American history.  That generates fear (as it should).  People fear (consciously or sub) what governments can do.  They hear the factions.  They/we see the discourse.  They/we fear the control in aspects of life that several generations ago were not thought of.  They/we react.  The stronger the fear, the stronger the reaction.  In the old days, only religions had that sort of accepted (and debated) level of  control in a person’s life. 

Government is the new religion.

Factions have become more adept at using fear to stir the masses.  Spend some time at an airport to see that for yourself.  Bush launched a war based on it.  Obama continued it.  Watch the news for 30 minutes and count how many stories educate you on new ways to die in this country due to something you’d never thought of… then ask yourself how many people you’ve ever encountered who actually did.  It’s scary.

Another founding father, Yoda, once said, “Fear leads to anger, Anger leads to hate, Hate leads to Suffering”.

What happened in Arizona was a tragedy and what motivated it may never be fully understood, but the Dim Bulbs of the Week… the media, the Republicans, the Democrats… are already consuming and regurgitating it.  They’re selling the story.  They’re pointing the fingers.  They’re sliding past accountability.

This time it was one man, with a sick mind and a gun.  Next time it may be a population with a sick heart and an army.

If your life were a movie, who is your director?  It’s an interesting question I think, so I thought I’d propose it for readers here.  Think about your life as a film… who has been the director?  Whose style and influence seems to be similar to the guidelines your life has been shaped by?

Firstly, in this scenario, god is not an acceptable answer.  God is not a director, he is a film critic.  Maybe your director’s sole (soul heh) goal is appeal to the film critics, but god’s not a director.

Secondly, I’ll help get you started by telling you who I think is directing the movie of my life.  The Life of Monty… a Terry Gilliam film.

I think my life story is equal parts funny, tragic, bizarre, insane, fantasy, fear, romance, and indescribable.  What better director to have than Terry Gilliam?

Mr. G has directed such gems as Monty Python’s Holy Grail (co-directed with Terry Jones), Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, 12 Monkeys, The Fisher King, Brazil, Time Bandits, The Adventures of Baron Munchausen, and The Brothers Grimm.  He’s an anti-establishment director that would rather tell a story with real characters and real consequences and not something with Hollywood polish where everyone lives happily ever after.  He’s a bit manic, a bit passionate, and all artist.

I look at moments of my life that echo Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.  I see the Fisher King too.  I said at one point in my life that there was no character in film that identified personally with more than Sam Lowery in Brazil.  I like to think of myself as fun and entertaining, but have a deeper, darker side that often remains unexplored.  Such attributes are key to a Gilliam protagonist.

So who is directing your life story?  Is Quentin Tarentino setting you up to be the next stylish thug in a dark suit?  Is Spielberg sending you on a fishing trip?  Did Peter Jackson make your height challenged self feel big again?  Did John Hughes define your life in ways only pegged pants and big hair could?

Tell us.  Who and why?