Category: People Am Dumb

Stupid people do stupid things stupidly.

In a ritual that seems to be becoming the norm, I once again found myself flying on December 25.  I was flying out of Washington National Airport that morning and was nervous about making my flight on time.  It didn’t help that I thought I had an afternoon flight only to discover it was actually a morning flight.  Fortunately, the worst interstate system in the country for congestion, road rage, and general hatitude was a barren wasteland that morning.  I started to wonder if there had been an apocalypse overnight due to the lack of traffic… either way I was content to get to Washington in about 30 minutes.

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Popularity: 27%

Three of the Republican candidates are running in the primaries because they were “called” to do so.  Doesn’t that mean that god’s messing with at least two of them?

Popularity: 33%

I’m putting some notes down as I sit at Dulles airport waiting for my flight to Chicago to leave.  This is mainly for me, but it’s also a teaser for you all.

• The Ice Bus
• Foreigners are the bane of expediance
• Free Wifi is only cool if it’s not WiCrap
• Every female college athlete from Illinios is on this flight
• Every family with ill behaved children from Illinios is on this flight
• Guess who I’ll end up sitting next to for the next two hours
• Do children come with indoor voices anymore or is that an outdated concept?
• Hey my flight’s delayed!
• IAD, consider cleaning the mensroom.  Please.  It’s like someone declared a poopy jihad in there.
• I’m going to trademark “poopy jihad”

Popularity: 36%

“After the fourth of July, my mom gave me a new truck to play with but it wasn’t a red one like the box showed it was a black one so she got mad and took it back to Target and told the lady there that the box said it was supposed to be a red truck but it was a black truck and that if she wanted a black truck she would have bought a box with a black truck on it and the lady said something about writing saying truck colors may vary and my mom called the lady stupid and a security guard to my mom to leave because she was becoming unrulered and I didn’t know what that meant but it was OK in the end because I liked the red truck better because blue is my favorite color and red is second.”

“Are you getting enough oxygen, kid?”

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Popularity: 37%

So this post brings us back to your usual brain-drain style of silly.  Interestingly enough, the serious piece I wrote on Wednesday has seen quite a bit of traffic and seems to be popular (or at least read a fair bit).   Anyway… on with the show.

I traveled a bit over the holidays.  You know what that means.  Awesome blog material.

In the past, I’ve had some pretty noteworthy encounters with folks on my trips.  From singing “The Look” to a bitter woman in First Class to getting into a window shade fight in Business Class with a lady who didn’t get the “window” part of “window seat”, I’ve had my share of fun on trips.  I just realized I never finished writing the post about the window flight.  I need a ghost writer.  Anyway… this trip was no different.  Conflict abounded for your reading pleasure.  This time, however, conflict started before I even got on the plane.

I was molested by TSA.  Because I had a wallet.

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Popularity: 28%

This is the first post in a new weekly series called “Dim Bulb of the Week”.  Readers from the old Drinkrum.org days will recall a similar series that I ran called “Friday’s Amazing Retard Trophy (FART)”… this is basically the same thing.  Enough of the background, here we go.

Dim Bulb of the Week is…

Monet Parham

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Popularity: 19%

Apparently a new Harry Potter movie came out today.

I will say right now that I don’t understand the drawing power of the movies or the books.  I will also say that I have not read any of the books but have seen some of the movies.  I might have seen all of the movies.  I don’t know.  The characters and plot seem muddled and convoluted enough that I don’t think I needed to see them.

I'm a wizard!

I think the plot of the first movie was something like… Harry is a wizard.  He goes to school with his friends Ron and Myhienie.  They get in trouble.  Harry’s parents are dead.  There are old wizards.  There’s some guy who is scary and his name is Voltron or something and he wants to kill Harry.  I believe the plot of the second movie is the same.  And the third.  And the fourth.  Has anything happened in the series since the first movie other than Harry becoming gawkingly awkward to look at, Ron growing from an ugly boy to an ugly tween, and Myhienie’s monobrow coming in?

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Popularity: 23%

Geeks have very special little worlds where they feel safe.  Many social groups like that do.  Jocks have their locker rooms.  Cheerleaders have their… locker rooms.  The list goes on.  Dungeons and Dragons and/or Medieval military buffs have Renaissance Faires.  Some people go to these things to drink beer out of a clay mug on a nice day and watch carnival acts or wannabe knights beat each other with broom handles.  (That’s me by the way.)  Other people go to these things every weekend, dressed head to toe in hundreds of dollars worth of period garb and spend the whole day drinking and referring to each other as “muh lard” or “muh lady”.  I’m fine with that.  I’m really happy that people who enjoy that sort of thing have a venue to do so.

Sadly, that sort of venue seems to be under attack.  It’s not by the groups you’d expect either.  It’s not by the Overprotective Parents of America Coalition who fear that tweens playing role playing games are of the devil.  It’s not by the NAACP who find that celebrating a time in history where the majority of people were systematically impoverished and blacks were enslaved to be a gross revision of facts.  No, no… the traditional Renaissance Faire is under attack by other geeks.

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Popularity: 22%