Stupid people do stupid things stupidly.
9 out of 10 people with positions you respect would recommend viewing this site on a daily basis. 
Category: People Am Dumb
Starbucks: Home of the Extroverted Introvert -
July 22, 2010 by
monty
Why should I pay $45 for a cup of coffee? Do I really need a cookie larger than my head? What about a rice krispy block bigger than my shoe? I could always just get a bottle of juice that’s half the size but double the price of the same juice in a grocery store. How does Starbuck’s stay in business?
Is it really good coffee? Arguable. Is it the post-high school barista behind the counter that has encyclopedic knowledge of coffee, grinds, and flavored syrup? No, they make me feel stupid. Sometimes I think they make up words just to see if anyone notices.
“Welcome to Starbucks, would you like to try our new Cafe Ochorina with cinnamon or a Triple Rumplemint Frappamochaspresso?”
“Um… ok.”
“And what size would you like that?”
“Medium.”
“Sir, our sizes are “piney”, “umbligo”, and “Vesuvius”
“Is one of those medium?”
“You’ll have to leave, sir. Try the Dunkin Donuts around the corner.”
A Mid-Summer Nightmare pt III: The Wrath of Chuckles -
July 16, 2010 by
monty
So, when last we met… our hero, me, was getting in his car to leave the shopping center.
It was about 3.00AM and there was no one in sight for miles. At this time of night, many of the area stoplights aren’t operating normally. They flash red in one direction and yellow in another. Yellow flashing lights mean you have the right of way, red flashing lights mean to treat the intersection like a stop sign. You stop… look around… and go on your way.
That’s what I did. I approached the first red flashing light. I stopped. I fiddled with the radio for a second. Noticed the Chuckles wagon behind me. I made my left turn.
A Mid-Summer Nightmare pt II -
July 13, 2010 by
monty
So while Armando had been fighting with the clerk, “Chuckles” had been picking through and examining the surplus Lean Cuisines that Armando couldn’t afford. He seemed very interested in the steak and peppers. Aside from being curious about someone else’s stuff and not seeming to mind rifling through it in front of them, he seemed on the normal end of the nut case spectrum. He was buying a single bottle of water and four or five blueberries.
A Mid-Summer Nightmare pt I -
July 12, 2010 by
monty
I don’t really sleep.
I’ve always been a night owl type, but of late I just don’t sleep anymore. Unless I have a meeting to be involved with in the morning… in which case I’ll fall asleep exactly 2 hours prior.
Not sleeping over the years has afforded me the rare opportunity to spend more than my fair share of time shopping in 24 hour establishments. Doing so used to be restricted to 7-11 and Wal-Mart, but these days there are more and more places to do commerce at 3.00AM. Recently, I found myself at a 24 hour Giant grocery store. (For those of you not from this area, Giant is a name brand for the store, not an adjective to describe a store I visited via a beanstalk.)
Spam College -
June 14, 2010 by
monty
An interesting bit of spam:
“Nice brief and this mail helped me alot in my college assignement. Say thank you you as your information.”
Firstly, if something on this site helped you with a college assignment, you should get your money back from your college because they’re wasting your time. Maybe if you’re at one of those fun liberal, no grade schools taking a class called PAGE 301: Using the Internet for No Productive Reason at All… maybe. Regardless… take English 101 again. And again.
