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Category: Monty Said What?

Sometimes Monty says things that are noteworthy. Most of the time he doesn’t. Here are the exceptions.

Regarding Nutrition… - March 13, 2010 by monty

“God doesn’t want people to eat vegetables! Otherwise he wouldn’t have hidden them underground.”

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Regarding an Office Power Failure and Only One Emergency Light Coming On… - March 11, 2010 by monty

“Maybe it’s just a small emergency.”

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Regarding a Killer Whale Living Up to Its Name… - February 26, 2010 by monty

“Maybe the trainer ought not have used that cheap, Wal-Mart knock off shampoo called “Head & Tuna.”

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Regarding Kevin Smith Being Kicked Off a Southwest Flight… - February 16, 2010 by monty

“It’s not a glandular disorder. You like pie!”

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Regarding the Constitution… - February 8, 2010 by monty

Any country that cannot defend itself without sacrificing its own civil liberties is indefensible.

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Regarding Dinner… - February 6, 2010 by monty

I wonder if pancakes are the only food you won’t get in trouble for if you smack them while cooking?

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Regarding Being Told I’d Have to Wait in a Long Line to See God… - February 4, 2010 by monty

“I plan to die in the off season. The lines will be shorter and I can get a free upgrade to a mini-suite. Probably get free tickets to “Dean Martin and Hitler on Ice” too!”

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Regarding a Car Accident in the Snow… - January 31, 2010 by monty

“Sterilizing morons saves lives.”

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$$$ $5 says you get no suggestions -Dw 3 day weekend 3 in one day! wow! 4!!! That's just crazy man. 12 Monkeys Fearing and Loathing in Brazil 24 300 action Adam Sandler Drew Barrymore comedy film movie review adaptation a day late and a dollar short Adios discussion boards admin Again with the breaking? airplane sleight of hand Alice in Wonderment Allen All work and no play makes jack a dull boy amen brother Another short one... boo! A pretty good day for myself Are these monthly now? Are you kidding me? Ashton Sean William Scott dude where's my car film movie review Awesome Sister can't win this one due to attitude. Back in the USSR Barry Robin and Maurice are the Bee Gees for those who skipped the 70's beast... leash... shut up begging Better late than never big bucks no whammy stop! bird riddles are stupid Blood Sucking Report BMW body odor boo hoo hoo boom goes the dynamite both Washington Nationals fans agree this blog is funny bow-diddy-bow-bow boy this is timely Bunky Beds burnt underwear butt Candy! Candy! Candy! can I take my laptop with me? can you put a Mr Yuck sticker on a bird? Charity Spam Charlie Boorman Charlton Heston would be proud Chicken McNuggets are awesome child Chili con Gummy Bear Chris Tucker Chuck E. Cheese clever funny ha ha thing clever tags go here club comedy comic comic book conan barbarian arnold terminator movie film review flick Copy & Paste is much faster than Write & Edit Daybreakers Dead death Did I already use that title? Didn't you already do this? Did Someone Step On a Duck? did your audi just poot? digital cow busted my colon Diplomacy 101 disenfranchised Swedes does anyone know who barney fife was? Don't Pull His Finger don't shoot me man Don't Squeeze the Charmin Don't Squeeze the Fundamentalist Either Don't sue me Roxette I'm broke Don't Touch Me! Double Riddle Madness! dungeons and dragons movie film review dork geek rpg roleplaying nerds level up Eminem Marshall Matthers Slim Shady rap film movie review employment England is a Bully even giants have jerk neighbors even Tom Sawyer hates Rush Everyone can play in this one. Evil Ewan McGregor exploitation facebook is a stalker paradise fantasy Faux-Poultry fight film fireworks Floral Spam Food Poisoning for some reason it felt important not to associate this post with Police Academy V and beyond foxen are cool Frank Frank Miller Freaks come out at night free prizes FYI: The "Golden Age of Piracy" (romanticized in the Caribbean) was about a century after the end of the Renaissance FYI: The events of "Braveheart" and other kilty bits happened several hundred years prior to the English Renaissance Period FYI: The Renaissance Era was centered in Italy not England. England stubbornly stayed in the dark ages about 200 years longer than the rest of Europe. FYI: There were no dragons in Europe from 1100AD to ever. Galaxy Quest Garlic repels spam get some gifts yo giggling is cool GI Joe movie film review go away kid you bother me god Go go gadget brain! Good... bad... I'm the one with the gun. good luck everyone! good luck suckers good morning Go watch Cannonball Run He's going after Wall St heaven is full of blacklights hello... um... nothing helpful people Here comes another one Hey isn't that the giant? Hey that's not bitter at all! hitler Hmmm holiday holidays home owners associations are nazis hyper bowl I'll be back to doing these more regularly I'm getting to easy on you people. I'm not a doctor but I play one on this MMORPG I'm too sleepy to be clever i almost want to become one because it looks so easy I can't do two a week every week I didn't really get the cadence down on this one... and am too tired to care. I don't think you're supposed to fart in first class I forgot today was Monday if you're a honky and you know it blow your horn -toot toot! If you're still using MySpace it's already too late for you If you die the Terrorism wins. I gots a 3.0 in duh I had to add "poot" to my spell checker I Hate Meetings I have no idea what I'm doing I know it's not Monday... shut up and take your riddle people I like money i like Sanford and Son I made this up while half asleep. immigration Indiana Jones I never get to find cool lamps in space no one can hear you poot I promise there's a point to all this I seem to be in a bad mood I should consider cleaning up these tags I should probably be getting my car inspected instead of doing this I should write a book of these Is shoed a word? I struggled to do one today you almost got the "Slinky" theme as a riddle It's a Major Award! it's funny in a couple of places it's like a mac and hair gel conference in here it's not psycho teacher guy from GMU It's potty time! It also seems I'm not going to use tag lines correctly either I want my $2 Jack Bauer Jackie Chan Jett Li john carpenter kurt russel china trouble film movie review KISS is annoying after a while. Kung Fu kung fu martial arts asian story film movie review Last one of the day. Long Way Down Long Way Round Lord of the Flies + Cold War Paranoia = this movie lumpy crab Mark Twain should sue you Canadian retards Martial Arts Maybe for 2011 I should use these tag things properly maybe you should put some clothes on if you want to fight crime mean Miller minor criminal activity MMA Monday's are better if they're riddled Monday's are Stupid mondays are gross monty more chalupas por favor! more more more More people should have skipped the 70's more ways to waste time Mormons don't hate me motorcycles movie Mugs are great gifts neato burrito needy Nice teeth arnold Night of the Living Dumbass no actual animals were harmed in the making of the US federal government No cheating No more kids movies for a bit Non-Aerodynamic People No One Wants to Hear About Your Nazi Grandmother Dwight. No really buy this stuff Now I've Got Super Freak stuck in my head No wizards were harmed in the making of this riddle. Now Twice as Good! Obscure Beatles Reference Oh crap the giant's back! OK I considered it. ok if my office burns down that'd be awesome but I didn't do it Ooops! Oscar is a tough word to get a good rhyme for our sizes are large stupid and pork pencil sharpener pirate Pissed Off Flowers plee post holiday riddle softball Princess Bride Prizes! Probably not gonna clean up the tag list Pubert is a pretty funny name. push push push Recent Movies are Lame REO Speedwagon review riddle pig Riddles go better with cheap nasty beer round two... fight! Rush Hour Russian Sadly. Sadness sahhhhh-loot sarah palin is an idiot... just fyi schvin = banned Semi-Colony Sign up! Seriously... or I'll stop writing riddles Sin City smack your food Sneaky Russians snow snow nazi sorry for the delay... i'm out of town Southwest is the Wal-Mart of airlines spam Special interest groups would win too because they'll make up a story about your death to support their nonsense. Spoiler: Gary Oldman is awesome. Spoiler: I guess that's not a spoiler. Spoiler: The horizontal plane placed on the back of vehicles to offset lift at high speeds. They were very popular in the 80's. Squeezing Charmin supports terrorists Star Trek Stopping the leaking story St Patrick Stringfellow Hawk is a cool name. Stupid Republicans Super savings on stuff you don't need suspense is mean Swingline v. Bostich tardy tardy tardy teen Terrorists are just idiot kids from the suburbs terry gilliam Terry Gilliam > Tim Burton thanks man that's kinda morbid That's never stopped me before That's profound dude That water looks kinda slimey. the answer isn't "The Outlaw Josey Wales" the apple trees in the Wizard of Oz were scary The awesomeness of the prize is based on my opinion. The cow says moo the early bird gets worms the flying monkey's were cool though the pope likes this riddle there were pirates at the first thanksgiving too The Road Warrior The roof the roof the roof is on fire! these items are awesome these tags are worthless The Shining the three day weekend and ice storm messed up my schedule the universe They're not all winners they almost rhyme this guy's crazy! This is all true. This isn't funny unless you read the ones from last week This is pretty cool This is the only one you're getting today so make it last. This lady is a real moron This one might be easier than the last one this post made me hungry this riddle is pre-solved to help with hangovers Tim time Time to blow some of that christmas money yo! Town B has Tic-Tac-Toe transformers translation Tuesday is like Monday plus one. Tulips? Really? turkey turkey turkey twitter seems odd but people like it udder Um... yuck unless I did... but then I especially didn't do it vampire vampire twilight movie book film review video games Virgin movie film review comedy steve Vlad the Spammer vomit vote 4 pedro wasted public education Watchmen We put the X in Xmas. What can brown do for you? What color is the bear? what did that guy eat? what does this have to do with your buttocks again? When do you get to the part about turkey? white trash ghosts are funny Who? Who am I? Who are you? who is your daddy Who will get it right? why come it don't have more lines? Why not just save this one for Monday instead of scrambling? Will the experiment work? Willy Got a Gun winners winners chickens dinners wolfman del dorro anthonyh hopkins vampire werewolf action movie film review Works great on Albinos! Yarnbuddy Penguin is not. yes I know that "Ate" and "cape" don't rhyme yes I know that yet again I did not advance the story yes I know this was a rant and not an award you guys are getting too good You guys rock You look beautiful in the candlelight buddy. You made a wrong turn if someone demands lotion in a basket your money smells like fungus Yuck is what it can do. yuppy ghosts are not [insert something witty here] 140<Review (26)
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