Hello there Mr. Sprinkle.
How are you today?
It’s time for you to tinkle.
Don’t make a messy spray.

Don’t pee on the floor here.
There’s no real need to rush.
Smells from stalls cause fear.
But don’t forget to flush.

It’s usually best to be the first one out of the bathroom right after singing it.  Also, try to do it when VIPs are in there.

“Maybe you should send her a “Facebook Demand”"

On my not using the “Poke Someone” feature on Facebook:

“I’m still waiting for the “Smack the Crap Out of Someone feature.”

It shows.

Why do you care?

Well…

Fabio’s web site ran a contest over the past few weeks.  It was pretty simple.  Find a picture of Fabio on the internet and find a quotation of his… mix them together… the funniest one wins.  Simple.  With Fabio’s wealth of extremely funny sound bites ranging from discussing “bunky beds” and suicide by ice cream sandwich, it wasn’t hard to find something funny.

I took the following quotation, “It’s not cooking, it’s rushing… If they’re gonna give me monkey ass filled with fried banana, I’ll come up with something anyway. It’s not a problem.”, shortened it, and dropped it into a picture of Fabio presenting his team’s dishes during the very formal, very serious Restaurant Wars to the judges (including food miser Anthony Bourdain). 

Here’s my submission.

Italian Cooking Has Never Been the Same

I found out last night that my submission came in 4th place.  That’s pretty awesome considering the volume of competition.  Anyway, Fabio is going to send me an autographed picture as my prize.

This might be a new strategy for me.  Instead of waiting for people to come to the blog to be entertained… I’ll go to theirs.  It might work.

You can view all 10 of the winners here.

If it weren’t for these people, I’d not be around.
Their care, their concern, their joy does abound.
Gifts were often funny, but always given with care.
On holidays past, I’d been given mousse for my hair.
This riddle is cheating, the solution is near.
The answer is my family, who I hold very dear.

A special Merry Christmas to my biggest fans and family, Judy (my mom), my dad who doesn’t have a username here, Franci (my aunt), and Spammer, Awesome, Adjective-laden Sister (my sister).  Thank you for being the best family I’ve ever had.

Here are three of them.  The kid, the Santa, and whatever person decided to pay for this picture. 

What's that kid doing up there anyway? I mean... why? How? What's going on here?

 Housekeeping Note:  No users submitted any riddles or ideas for the Christmas Riddle Contest so there is no riddle to be posted on Christmas Eve.  Posts for the rest of the year will be sporadic due to travel, but I’ll probably put random things up here or there.

Happy Holidays to all my readers.