My Hair Is Pretty Nifty.
Monty (named after the local preacher) was born in southern Louisiana to a n’er do well doctor and his pretty wife. Aside from an eating disorder and being used as live alligator bait, he had a fairly normal childhood. Leaving home for the bayou, Monty found a good living illegally hunting alligators. His patented technique of sneaking up on them while sleeping (the alligators, not Monty) and smacking them in the head with a large stick until dead (again, the alligators, not Monty) brought him fame and glory. Sadly, after four years of hunting a particularly angry alligator and wimpy stick combined to cost Monty his left arm. Despite only having the use of one arm, he continued to see success in the illegal alligator hunting sector. Unfortunately, the questionable disappearance of a particularly curious local sheriff led Monty out of business and Louisiana permanently. It is rumored that the sheriff was heard boasting of going into the bayou and arresting Monty for his activity. When asked about the disappearance, Monty said, “Huh?”
Since that time Monty has spent his time employed in the computer world and stuck in traffic. Jerry Reed released Monty’s life story in 1970 as the crossover hit “Amos Moses” and later went on to play that truck driver guy in “Smokey and the Bandit” and the mean coach in “The Waterboy”. Monty has not appeared in any films he’s aware of. (of which he’s aware- grammar Nazis)
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