Why should I pay $45 for a cup of coffee? Do I really need a cookie larger than my head? What about a rice krispy block bigger than my shoe? I could always just get a bottle of juice that’s half the size but double the price of the same juice in a grocery store. How does Starbuck’s stay in business?
Is it really good coffee? Arguable. Is it the post-high school barista behind the counter that has encyclopedic knowledge of coffee, grinds, and flavored syrup? No, they make me feel stupid. Sometimes I think they make up words just to see if anyone notices.
“Welcome to Starbucks, would you like to try our new Cafe Ochorina with cinnamon or a Triple Rumplemint Frappamochaspresso?”
“Um… ok.”
“And what size would you like that?”
“Medium.”
“Sir, our sizes are “piney”, “umbligo”, and “Vesuvius”
“Is one of those medium?”
“You’ll have to leave, sir. Try the Dunkin Donuts around the corner.”
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