What I Learned: The Shining

by monty

The movie “The Shining” taught me the following things about hotels in winter:

1. It sucks to be Scatman Crothers.
2. Alcoholics Anonymous and haunted hotels do not mix.
3. Stay out of hedge mazes on cold nights.
4. Talking fingers are scary.  Really scary.
5. Random naked people are dangerous.  They are often scary and confusing.  Really confusing.
6. When chasing someone with an axe, having a few one liners prepared is a must.
7. Did I mention the thing about how it sucks to be Scatman Crothers?
8. If you really want to scare an audience have loud, jarring segues announcing what day of the week it is.
9. Ghost bartenders are kinda cool.  Until you hear about their homelife.
10. Big wheeling in a vacant hotel seems like a cool idea.  I’d like to drive a go-cart around a casino.
11. Twin little girls that dress alike and talk slowly in unison are very scary.  Parents of of twins should consider selling one of the set on ebaby.com. 
12. Don’t be within 100 miles of a writer when they have the big meltdown.  Also, don’t get on an airplane to fly back to be within 100 miles of a writer during said meltdown.
13. What were you thinking, Scatman?

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